Trusting The Masculine... Yours Or His?


Trusting The Masculine... Yours Or His?

In modern-day society, particularly since the 1980’s, women have entered the workplace, and been exposed to an incessant barrage of competitive power seeking. A new myth arose, which declared absolute gender sameness, and it quickly became culturally accepted. Part of this served to rectify an imbalance; women had certainly been subjugated and considered inferior to men in the past. But the balance tipped too far, and many women erroneously believed they had to behave exactly like men


He, without his roots is never enough for her. And she, without her roots lives as a man in a woman’s body who dwells in the emotional chaos at the feet of the world. Weeping for what it has become.


This, my beloved friends is where we find ourselves now. In order to swing the pendulum back into balance - we as women, need to open up rapidly and authentically to the feminine force of bodily love (for self and the other) as our one and only priority in life.



In order to do this, a woman needs to open up to her immense, natural, sexual fullness by trusting a man with her whole heart, soul and sacred feminine core. As women, we need to feel that our man recognises us as an incarnate form of the Goddess. In turn, men need to recognise that their masculine energy is deeply nourished by the sensual feminine. Furthermore, through bold and fearless surrender to this holy Shakti force, a man can embody the full power of Light at his sacred masculine core.  


The Patriarchal Toll

As women, we are one hundred percent responsible for opening and releasing any blocks that prevent us from accessing our sensual feeling body. First, however, we have to recognize how the patriarchal age may have taken its toll on us.


Many women have over-animated their masculine energy in the race for success and the drive to get ahead in their careers. Men and women alike have been culturally caught in the craving for bigger and better things, which creates anxiety around money and even more drive for worldly success. Eventually, this leads to collapse and burnout—especially in women who have subverted their natural feminine energy.


Women with a strong feminine essence are not designed to be like men, yet for the last thirty to forty years many have pushed themselves in that direction. We women are not created to be out there in the world: conquering, achieving, amassing and owning.  We are designed to be creating, visioning, beautifying, nurturing and balancing. The modern myth of gender sameness, and society’s over-valuing of masculine qualities has resulted in women being energetically located in their heads, disconnected from their sensual, sexual selves and primarily running on their masculine energy. This is not good news for the bedroom!  Because we women have activated too much of our masculine energy, often out of necessity, we are unable to relax and trust men in the act of love. This problem is compounded because many men’s innate masculine sense of direction and sexual empowerment has wilted in the presence of an overly masculinized woman who can’t surrender to their loving.


So, this is the bottom line. The majority of women in the western world have become masculine, and many of our men have become feminine in response. It doesn’t matter how many sexual skills we know, or how open we are emotionally. If we women don’t trust our lover’s masculine force and direction more than our own, we won’t open completely. We won’t let down our boundaries and surrender in deep trust, allowing ourselves to be sexually ravished by the Divine masculine. And if we are stuck in our heads, there is a very good chance our masculine energy will not only match his, but surpass it.


Now, there is another urgent issue for women to address. We must give ourselves permission to reawaken our feminine essence, and heal our overly strong expression of masculine energy. Go deep inside and ask yourself if you can let go of all that conditioning and awaken the inner Goddess…


This may be more difficult than it seems, because staying in control has often kept you safe. But is a woman who truly desires sexual ravishment really interested in merely “staying safe?” Are you willing to take a risk for feminine bliss? If the idea of trusting a man is too much, simply begin by trusting Life. Surrender into the flow of life that has brought you to this moment.


We can begin to awaken our feminine sexuality by going into nature and feeling the pulse of the Goddess. Soak in a natural hot spring and feel her force bubble up between your toes. Sit on the Earth and draw her energy up through your pelvis into your body. Go outside in a private place under a full moon, take off your clothes, feel the breeze on your skin— and dance! All these things—and many more— will awaken the sleeping sacred feminine within.

In terms of sexuality, we must also ask – do we know how to give ourselves pleasure? So many women are uncomfortable in their bodies, which can turn lovemaking into a painstaking chore, rather than an exploration into bliss. 


Right here, right now— do you know what delights you? Do you know how you desire to be touched, kissed and made love to? Are you able to get out of your mind and go with the slow, sensual building of body sensation with no goal of even having an orgasm at first? One of the fears I believe I share with many women is this: If I really let go and access the slow building of my sexual bliss, he may orgasm too soon – and then it’s all over! This fear is not unfounded, though many men who wish to deeply pleasure their partners have learned how to withhold orgasm indefinitely. 


For us to fully access our sensual sexuality, we must quiet the mental voice that is constantly evaluating the sexual experience, otherwise we are still in our masculine energy. In the words of poet Mary Oliver, we must relax and “let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” For us to surrender into deep sexual expression, we need to be grounded in our being, rising from the Earth in pure delight as fully feminine women.


In summary, here are the two important points for women to remember:


  • Our lover’s masculine consciousness, presence, and direction must be capable of bringing us to a deeper, more blissful and abundant love than we are capable of directing ourselves, or we won’t trust him.
  • We must be capable of re-connecting to our sensual body, opening up to the womb, remembering the qualities and attributes of being female. We must allow our core feminine essence to swell up and rebalance our masculine energy, or our Beloved will sense the male within us, and lose his instinctual interest.



Once we have balanced our inner masculine and feminine, once we have developed as an autonomous, whole person, then we have achieved psychological integration. But to experience Divine sexual bliss, there is another step to take. It doesn’t mean that we lose our capacity for wholeness in everyday life, but the masculine and feminine essences play entirely different roles in the bedroom—or on the kitchen table, for that matter!  


Women—you can learn to relinquish your boundaries during sex, giving yourself entirely to be taken by the Divine masculine force. And remember, if you want to experience the fullest Divine play as the feminine sexual partner, then you must choose a lover worthy of your trust.


If your current relationship needs work in these areas, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you must end the relationship and seek elsewhere.  Love conquers all—so just look inward together and discuss whether this refinement of energy and technique is possible, and if it is something that you are both committed to. As the man works on his ability to extend his whole-body depth of fearless presence, the woman can cultivate her capacity to receive his heart-true navigation. Just make sure, if you take the path of co-healing, that you follow up all conversations, insights and agreements with an action step as soon as possible. Practice, practice practice! It could be fun.


The way you make love is the way God will be with you


Jalaluddin Rumi






There are currently no comments on this article.

Enter your comment below. Fields marked * are required. You must preview your comment before submitting it.

Anaiya Sophia

About the Author

Anaiya Sophia is a Châtelaine, Living Grail and Author/Whisperer of Heart Opening Wisdom. She once taught workshops throughout the world and was best known for the creation of Sacred Body Awakening. Now, you will always find her at home in the French Pyrenees where she has taken on an almighty project – the restoration of an old Catholic summer house into an educational wisdom hub, temple, animal sanctuary and place of grace.
Known for showing up as a trailblazing resource of unapologetic truth and transparent courage, her heart is both fierce and tender.  She carries an oral message that stirs the remembrance of a continuous lineage with the Feminine Principle that throughout the centuries has preserved its spiritual dignity, without the need for permission or recognition from any other source.

Her books include:

  • Open your Heart with Kundalini Yoga (Harper Collins, 2002)
  • Mini Size Me (Lulu, 2005)
  • Pilgrimage of Love (Lulu, 2010)
  • Womb Wisdom (Inner Traditions, 2011)
  • Sacred Sexual Union (Inner Traditions, 2013)
  • The Rose Knight. Part I: Sophia's Story (Lulu, 2014)
  • Sacred Relationships (Inner Traditions, 2015)
  • Fierce Feminine Rising (Inner Traditions, 2020)
  • The Grail King. Part II: Logos' Story (Lulu, 2022)

Anaiya lives in the Cathar region of Southern France with her beloved husband Pete Wilson. Together they run Les Contes, a B & B at the base of Montsegur where individuals, families and large groups can come and stay.  Les Contes is a truly extraordinary place, with a bountiful healing presence.
Anaiya is able to conduct Baptism, Marriage, Divorce and Death Ceremonies as there is a Chapel and Spring on-site.


Site login

Don't have a site login? Sign up today - click here