I am coming to understand in a slow and grounded way, that my anger is expressed through a childlike conditioned response. This younger part of me, not only has limited intelligence of and comprised access to my entire being but more importantly, this is NOT what is most needed at this time. I am realizing that the true expression of the Fierce Feminine, or Sacred Rage, or Wild Masculine is in fact slowly delivered, consciously deliberate and allows the actual energy, rather than the emotional show of the energy, to emerge and powerfully manifest out and into the Old World.
I keep noticing when I get angry or frustrated there is this huge show of tears and demonstration of upset. Which I later contemplate on and realise - that I am not actually upset and that I was nowhere near the truth of what I wanted to say. In hindsight, I see now, that what is happening is that I am getting through the layers of guilt, shame, misunderstanding, fear, compromise, placation and inauthentic expressions that have been 'tied up' around my voice.
And, I have this feeling the outer world, would love for me to remain this way. Afraid to access my true voice. Getting muddled with limited and societal agreements.
The true voice is not louder, angrier, more volatile or more brilliant with words. I believe it is just true. But this truth is coming from a deep place, an awake place. I feel our current learnt way of expressing emotion is limited and is hindering the true expressions of what needs to come to the surface because what wants to come is not emotional noise, but resonant medicine. I am calling it Intimate Anger because it feels to me to exactly that. This expression is richly united to the source of injustice, outrage, provocation, correction, and the degree of autonomy that is needed in this clearly corrupted world (Brexit, Epstein, Assange etc).
So my darling and courageous friends, when you feel this really deep part of you arising, sidestep the limited way we have been taught to show anger, that could be both passive and aggressive, and step into the greater truth of your expression and let it flow. For me, at this stage - it requires bodily movement, breath and the freedom to shapeshift into whatever ...It does not want to harm. It does not want to judge. It does not want to make self better, and other less than.
It's just the sound of the end.
and the fertile ground for something NEW.